空白

我这两天情绪很不对，我不知道怎么了，就是真的很难过，很压抑地难过。也许是觉得太孤独，也许是心里不踏实，也许如S讲就是低潮期抑或假日综合症，也许是我太无所适从，也许是我也不知道的原因，可是就很难过。

整晚整晚地看《如花美眷》，结果更难过。晚上睡觉做梦的时候梦到我们三个坐在饭堂里打电话给sa叫她过来吃饭，醒了我就意识到那种场景是再也回不去的了。我一个人坐在床上想你们想的掉眼泪。跟妈妈说很多很多的话，我尽量保持平静，可是我说着说着还是哭了。

我跟人说我想去一个有着湛蓝天空湛蓝海水的地方坐着什么都不想，我只想吹着海风晒着阳光，我想找一个春暖花开的地方住下。冬天过去了也许就会好了。

我知道，我会好的。

“i haven't really ever found a place that i call home
i never stick around quite long enough to make it
i apologize that once again i'm not in love
but it's not as if i mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking

i've always thought that
i would love to live by the sea
to travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
i have no idea what's happened to that dream
cos there's really nothing left here to stop me”
——《life for rent》